I Love You, I Hate You
by MeWantTitleMatch
Summary: Their relationship is like a broken train, forever stuck on a bad track. Songfic. Rated T for language and themes. Dean Ambrose/OC.


_**I was listening to this song and immediately this idea popped into my mind. This is a rather dark songfic and is rated T for language and themes. The song is "I Hate Everything About You" by Three Days Grace. Also I refer to them by their actual given names so Jon=Dean and Colby=Seth. **_

**I Love You, I Hate You**

_Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet_

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, JON! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" Devyn screamed at the top of her lungs before slamming their bedroom door shut. The force rattled the doorframe and the wall. Pictures clattered to the floor.

"WHY DON'T YOU SLAM THE FUCKING DOOR AGAIN? I DON'T THINK THE FUCKING NEIGHBORS HEARD IT GOOD ENOUGH THE FIRSTTIME!" Jon roared back from his place at the foot of the stairs. He sat down on the bottom step and put his face in his hands.

They were fighting again. They were also both quite drunk. It had started when they'd had their friends over for drinks. They'd started off just fine, casually sipping and talking. And then they couldn't stop drinking, even when they could feel the effects and could feel themselves getting ready to argue over some asinine thing.

All of their arguments were asinine really. Petty disagreements fueled by alcohol-induced rage.

_Every roommate kept awake  
By every sigh and scream we make  
All those feelings that I get  
But I still don't miss you yet  
Only when I stop to think about it_

Jon pulled himself up and trudged up the stairs, picking up the pictures as he went. They were pictures of them in happier times, in their youth. There were pictures from their early days of wrestling. There were a couple of photos of Devyn with her dad, the famous Diamond Dallas Page. She'd grown up with only him in her life, along with a "seething witch of a stepmother" who'd lasted only a short while. He had to admit that he was somewhat jealous; he hadn't had that kind of relationship with either of his parents.

He made it to the second floor of their house. Subconsciously avoiding their bedroom, he wandered toward their children's bedrooms. They were empty now; Colby had taken the kids to his and Alyssa's home when he'd sense the change in atmosphere. Collin and Robyn had also been products of their alcoholism; drunken unprotected sex. But Jon and Devyn loved their children with all their hearts and they were good parents, albeit a little angry at times.

_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?  
I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?_

Jon came back to their bedroom door. He leaned against it, sinking down to the floor. He felt a headache coming on already, the drunkenness and yelling taking its toll. He could hear Devyn on the other side of the door. It sounded like she was crying. He sighed. Here he was causing the love of his life to cry again. In his younger years, he wouldn't have cared if he'd made a girl cry. They didn't mean anything to him. Then along came Devyn. As much as he hated to admit it, she'd won him over almost instantly with her sharp wit, sarcasm, and ability to go toe to toe with him when it came to drinking. Plus, she was a hell of a lot of fun in bed. However, his deep-seated emotional issues began to arise and as she wasn't the most compassionate woman in the world, they butted heads quite often. But still they loved each other dearly.

Sighing again, Jon got to his feet and carefully opened the door.

_Every time we lie awake  
After every hit we take  
Every feeling that I get  
But I haven't missed you yet  
Only when I stop to think about it_

As soon as he was completely over the threshold, Devyn chucked a pillow at him. She was curled up in their mess of a bed, stripped down to a t-shirt and panties. Her brown-blond hair was tangled and her eyes looked red and puffy. They said nothing as he came closer to the bed, stripping down to his boxers. She started to edge away from him on the mattress but stopped when she realized he wasn't getting into bed with her. Instead he reached into the nightstand and pulled out two aspirin and a bottle of water. He placed them carefully on the comforter next to her.

"Take them," he said quietly, "it'll help you feel better. I'll be on the couch if you need me." He turned to go.

Devyn chewed her lip thoughtfully. "Wait!"

Jon turned back around, eying her thoughtfully.

She downed the aspirin and set the bottle on the floor. "Don't go. Jon, please stay with me. I need you…I love you…"

Jon padded his way back to the bed and got in beside her. She snuggled up to him, falling asleep almost instantly. He cradled her to him, gently rubbing her back.

"I love you too."

_I hate everything about you  
Why do I love you?_

_**As always, please review.**_


End file.
